


Hypocrisy

by Jcapasso916



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-12 19:04:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7118725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jcapasso916/pseuds/Jcapasso916
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is tired of seeing Sam and Gabriel dance around each other and then he gets an idea and drags Cas in as the key component of his plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ever since Chuck/God had called in Gabriel to help with the darkness, he’d been hanging around the bunker a lot more and driving Dean crazy. Not even in his normal way. No. As far as the pranks and being a general nuisance, he was being very well behaved, not that he wasn’t still his hyper, jovial, amusing self. No, he was driving Dean crazy with this ridiculous standoff he had going with Sam. Sam was blind to it, and Cas was oblivious, but Dean knew exactly why the boisterous archangel kept hanging around. Every time his eyes raked over Sam, every ever more ridiculous excuse to be in the same room with him, every cool artifact or rare book or ancient scroll he just happened to find and present to the younger hunter like a puppy waiting for a belly rub. Okay maybe that last part was a bit of an exaggeration, but still. It was painfully obvious to Dean. And Sam wasn’t much better. The way Sam always leaned far closer than necessary to see whatever the archangel was trying to show him, the way he always lingered so that Gabriel would leave the room first and Sam could check out his ass, the way he always tried to draw the evasive archangel into conversations about the stupidest things. They were both idiots and Dean was reaching the end of his rope. 

The answer to his dilemma came to him in the oddest of ways. Cas came walking into the kitchen where Dean and Gabriel were eating some pie and Dean innocently asked, “Hey Cas. Where were you?” 

The seraph replied, “With Sam,” and didn’t expand on that. 

“Doing what?” Gabriel asked curiously and Dean rolled his eyes at the archangel’s desire to know everything about Sam at every possible moment. 

Cas’ reply of, “He has a very large package and had difficulty getting it in,” caused Gabriel to choke on his pie and Dean to start laughing. 

When Gabriel’s laughs joined his, Dean could hear the tension in them and looked over at the archangel to see a fire burning in his eyes. Dean knew that Gabriel knew that Cas didn’t mean it the way it sounded, but apparently the way it sounded alone was enough to set off something in the archangel and Dean began to form an idea. 

As soon as he got a chance he pulled Cas aside somewhere they wouldn’t be overheard and said, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed the way our brothers act around each other.”

“If you are referring to the frequency with which they look at each other and seek proximity with each other then, yes. I have noticed.”

Dean couldn’t help but laugh. Even Cas had noticed and the ones who were supposedly observant remained clueless. “Great. So now we just need to get them to notice.”

“You believe they do not notice?” Cas asked confused. How could they not notice?

“No. They don’t. Because if they did they would have done something about it.”

“In what manner?” Cas asked with a tilt of his head. 

Ok so Cas noticed the behavior but not what it meant. “It means they want each other, but neither of them will do anything about it so it just makes everything all awkward. We need to make them do something about it.”

“I see. So you wish to…what is the phrase? Play matchmaker?”

“Something like that,” Dean said glad that Cas caught on so quickly, but not a big fan of the wording. 

“How can I assist?” 

“Just be you. With a few phrases I tell you to say to or about Sam when Gabriel is there,” Dean told him. Cas’ ability to be completely suggestive and completely innocent at the same time would definitely work in their favor. Especially if Gabriel was as possessive as Dean got the impression he was. “Oh and try to stand a little closer to Sam more often. That might help too.”

 

The next morning over breakfast, the four of them were eating the large breakfast that Gabriel snapped up when Dean nudged Cas with his foot and the seraph asked, “Would you like my sausage Sam?” 

The other three people at the table choked, Dean trying not to laugh and the other two at the words themselves. “Do what?” Sam asked in a slightly high pitched voice. 

“I do not find the taste of my sausage appealing and thought that perhaps you might,” he continued. When Sam just continued gaping at him he stabbed his sausage with his fork and held it up. “Would you like it?” he asked again holding it out to the hunter. 

“Yeah…right…sure Cas. Thanks,” Sam said blushing bright red as he took the offered sausage and Gabriel tried to glare daggers through his baby brother. 

Once breakfast was over Cas followed Dean out and asked, “Was that good?”

Dean laughed. “Oh Cas. That was perfect. Couldn’t have asked for better. Really. Ok here’s the next one…”

 

It was mid-afternoon and they were sitting around playing video games when Dean gave Cas the signal. It was only coincidence that he and Cas had been losing to the other two at the time. Really it was. “I hope you don’t mind me saying, Sam but your balls are quite pleasant.”

Both Sam’s and Gabriel’s racecars immediately went off the track and crashed in a fiery explosion as Sam said, a few octaves higher than normal, “Huh?” 

“They fit nicely in my hand and work very well to relieve stress,” Cas continued. 

“What…when…but…um…huh?” Sam asked ineloquently. 

“I found them in that little box in the library before lunch. There was an inscription on the lid that said how to use them to relieve stress. They work very well,” Cas explained. 

“You mean…the…um…Baoding balls?” Sam felt the need to clarify. 

“Is that what they are called?” Cas asked and Dean had to excuse himself, not that anyone other than Cas noticed, what with Sam being flustered and Gabriel glaring daggers at his brother again. 

“Yeah Cas. That’s what they’re called,” Sam flushed a bright red only to find that in the distraction Dean had won the race. “Where’d Dean go?” 

Dean returned a moment later to find three people looking at him and he managed to keep a straight face as he said, “What? I had to take a leak.” 

 

The next day around lunchtime, Cas waited until they were walking down the hall as Dean had suggested before he said, “Sam?” causing the hunter to stop and turn to him and the other two stopped as well to see what was up. Cas, as instructed, stepped very close to the hunter, who confusedly took a step backwards so that his back was to the wall. “May I have your meat?” 

“My what?” Sam asked, again with his voice a few octaves higher than usual. 

“Your meat. It looks tasty and I would like to try it.”

Sam was still trying to figure out what meat Cas meant when he heard a low growl come from beside him. He barely had a chance to register the fact that it came from Gabriel, before Cas was shoved away from him and Gabriel was kissing him fervently. It took a second for Sam’s brain to catch up and when it did, his arm’s wrapped tightly around the archangel and he spun them so that Gabriel was the one pressed against the wall and kissed him back just as eagerly. 

When they finally broke apart the were met with a wolf-whistle from Dean followed by, “It’s about time!”

Sam and Gabriel, still pressed together in each other’s arms, looked at each other with a look that said very clearly ‘is he serious?’ before Sam just shrugged and leaned down to kiss Gabriel again. Dean took the hint and pulled Cas with him towards the kitchen and gave them some privacy.


	2. Chapter 2

As Sam and Gabriel lay sated in the bed, Sam couldn’t resist pointing out, “You realize they were driving us nuts on purpose right?” 

“Oh I do, and I think one good turn deserves another,” he said with a mischievous grin. 

“What do you have in mind?” Sam asked. He knew that Gabriel was as fed up as he was with the constant eye sex between their brothers and whatever he had in mind would be designed to get them together too. It was for a good cause as much as it was for a bad one. 

“Well first I was thinking of having them wake up in a full on honeymoon suite, rose petals, heart shaped bed, lava lamps, the works.”

“How about let’s go with a little subtlety?” Sam interjected. Being that blunt would just make Dean even more stubborn about it. 

“The lava lamps too much?” 

“The whole thing is too much,” Sam laughed. “We need something a little less obvious to pull my idiot brother out of the closet.”

“You can find, or make, a girl to set Cas up with. Kind of a since you helped us be happy I want to make you happy thing.”

“And play on Deano’s jealousy just like he played on mine. Excellent,” Gabriel said with a grin. “Won’t he take issue with my inviting strangers into the bunker though?”

“Not if I said it was okay. I want to help him find happiness as much as you do after all, and since it was Cas who brought us together he’s the one we’re helping.”

“Oooh. I like it. Not just the jealousy, but make out like he had nothing to do with it. That’ll really get his goat. Especially if he thinks we’re thankful and handing out favors for it. I knew I liked you for a reason.”

“You mean it’s not my great ass?” Sam asked fake put-out. 

“Oh that’s definitely part of it,” Gabriel said waggling his eyebrows.

 

They waited a few days to spring their plan. They had decided to make her look a little like Dean, except more feminine of course and even made up a whole backstory knowing that Dean was going to give her the third degree. Over breakfast, Gabriel said, “So I’ve got a friend coming by in a little while. She’s gonna stay here through Christmas next week.”

“Without asking me?” Dean asked annoyed. 

“Sam said it was fine,” Gabriel said with a shrug. 

Dean turned his annoyance to Sam. “What? It’s not like she’s dangerous, and she already knows about all this supernatural crap anyway.”

“She a hunter?” Dean asked curiously. 

“A psychic. Works with hunters from time to time,” Gabriel told him. “I think Cassie here would like her.” And there was the bomb and it even made Dean choke on his food. 

“You’re…playing matchmaker for Cas?” Dean asked incredulously. 

“Sure. It was thanks to him that we got together. The least we can do is help him find the same happiness,” Sam said sweetly daring his brother to say something else. 

“Fine. Just. Next time ask me too. I live here too you know,” he grumbled and scowled through the rest of breakfast. 

Everything about ‘Kim’ was designed to make Dean jealous of her, right down to her slick red sports car and she got nothing but glared from him from the second she walked in the door and Gabriel greeted her warmly and Sam ‘was introduced’ to her. 

Over the course of the next week she spent pretty much all of her time flirting with a mostly clueless Cas and steadily driving Dean more and more crazy. Cas couldn’t figure out why Dean hated her so much and tried to play peacemaker, which of course just made Dean even madder, but they didn’t seem to be getting anywhere other than an insanely cranky Dean, so Sam gave Gabriel a bit of leeway with the grand finale. They were having a little Christmas celebration and Gabriel was putting up enchanted mistletoe. Sam did have some reservations though. “So what happens if I get caught under it with anyone other than you?”

“Hey now that I know you’re mine, I won’t begrudge you a little kiss. Hell if it’s with Cassie, I’ll even tell you to make it a good one. Get old Deano riled up a little more.”

“Ok but…what if I get caught under it with Dean?” he said with a shudder. 

“Be careful?” Gabriel suggested. “Worst case scenario all it takes is a little peck for it to let you go.”

“If I come out of this emotionally scarred I’m going to kill you,” Sam grumbled. 

Gabriel laughed. “Good luck with that.”

 

Once the party got going they set it up for a little demonstration of the mistletoe first. Sam and Gabriel got intentionally stuck under it. “More of your mistletoe, Gabe?” Sam asked wearily as he made a show of not being able to walk away, playing his part. 

“Oh come on. It certainly livens up the party,” he grinned, pulling Sam into a searing kiss before walking away. 

“Tell me you didn’t…” Dean said looking accusingly at Gabriel. 

The archangel waggled his eyebrows in response and said, “It’ll appear randomly in the room. Have fun.”

The next people to get caught were Cas and ‘Kim’ and she wasted no time grabbing him by the tie and pulling him in for a deep sloppy kiss, while Dean fumed. Then Sam got caught with Cas and he sighed, not really comfortable with the idea of going all out like Gabriel suggested, but wanting to do more than the minimum he took Cas’ face in his hands and kissed him firmly and it linger for a few seconds before he turned and walked off and Dean looked ready to kill, and that look only got worse when Gabriel got caught with him and the archangel laughed. He really had made them random so aside from him and Sam and the first one with Cas and ‘Kim’ none of the rest had been planned. 

“Pucker up Deano,” he said with another eyebrow waggle. 

“Don’t even think….” Dean was cut off as he was dipped back and Gabriel kissed him soundly for a good long while, leaving Dean blinking after him as he sashayed off. 

Sam slid up behind Gabriel and wrapped his arms around him, as he whispered in his ear with a chuckle. “Anything you wanna tell me?” 

“Other than I just proved to your brother that kissing a guy could be amazing?” Gabriel added with his own chuckle and Sam couldn’t help the loud belly laugh that drew from him. Leave it to Gabe to think of that. Cas got much the same treatment Dean did when Gabriel got caught with him and Sam kissed ‘Kim’ about the same as he had Cas. 

Finally, just before Gabriel was going to say screw it and rig it, Dean and Cas got caught together. If there had been any doubt before, the way Dean turned bright red when he realized it would have been the final proof. He hadn’t even done that when he’d been caught with Gabriel. Sam had taken to just avoiding his brother completely to avert any accidents. 

Sam and Gabriel were pretending to be wrapped up with each other as they watched eagerly without seeming to watch. They saw Dean dart in for what he obviously intended to be a quick peck, but surprisingly it was Cas who grabbed the front of his shirt and went for it. Dean froze for a minute before he was kissing Cas back like he was drowning and Cas was the lifeboat and everyone else in the room was promptly forgotten about as Sam and Gabriel sat there snickering for a few minutes. Once Cas’ tie flew through the air and buttons started popping, they made a quick retreat and Sam made Gabriel promise to disinfect the room tomorrow.


End file.
